Ciel's World
by pellyeve93
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive has a nasty fall, and ends up catching the rare Lamperous disease. There's only one cure, and he goes on a quest to find it, and also, to find out the true meaning of love. Not to be taken seriously. Humour/Angst.
1. Chapter 1

(A/N:) Umm... this isn't supposed to be taken _too _seriously, just a bit of humour.

Chapter 1

Ciel Phantomhive sat at his desk, sipping a small cup of tea. He leaned back in his chair and sighed. He hadn't seen Sebastian all night. Where could that demon have gone to? Ciel threw his empty cup on his desk and muttered angrily, "Tch." He needed someone to refill his cup! Just as he was about to get up and look for his butler, he heard a very loud crashing sound outside.

Ciel swivelled around and looked out the window that was behind his desk. Sebastian was there, in bird form, chasing another bird, for some weird reason. He had just pushed the other bird into one of the mansion's windows and most likely smashed it. Ciel sighed loudly again, and banged on the window, trying to get Sebastian's attention.

It seemed he banged on it a little toohard, because the window smashed! Ciel felt himself slip and fall, and he cried out in pain as the sharp shards of glass scraped him. As he fell from the window, another thing scraped him, but he couldn't tell what it was. It didn't feel sharp, but it still hurt. Then it all went black.

Ciel awoke in his bed, with bandages wrapped around him. He attempted to sit up, but felt a sharp pain shoot down his back.

"Young master," he heard Sebastian say, as he poured Ciel some tea, "You injured yourself severely after your fall last night."

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Sebastian," muttered Ciel, rolling his eyes. Well... eye, seeing as the other one was covered. He leaned back in his bed and felt a strange feeling wash over him. Where was he again?

His demon butler looked at him and smiled, "Oh, it's no problem." But in his mind, Sebastian wasn't smiling. '_Just you wait, you spoiled little bitch. Never forget that I could kill you in your sleep, Ciel Phantomhive. Never forget..._' the butler thought to himself. He finished pouring his young master's tea, and handed him the cup.

Ciel looked at him blankly. He blinked at Sebastian a few times and asked, "What?"

"Your tea, young master."

"What's tea?"

Silence.

The butler looked at Ciel with a confused look. What's tea? How could he not know what tea was? Maybe he just had a concussion...

"Well?" asked Ciel again, "Wait.. where am I?"

Sebastian looked at him again, and thought to himself, '_I wish I had someone here to tell me what is going on._'

Just as he though that, this weird blonde man wearing nothing else but a hat and glasses appeared beside Ciel's bed.

"You requested assistance?" the man said in a somewhat feminine voice.

"Uhh.. yes, but who are you?," replied Sebastian, though he hadn't actually asked for assistance at all. He readied his cutlery.

"You see, my fellow man," began the naked guy, putting his arm around Sebastian, "This boy was cut by the rare Lamperous Magic Stick, and when he was, the oil leaked into his body, giving him the even more rare, Lamperous disease. In simple terms, this boy is now extremely stupid. There is only one cure, but that's all for another day!"

"Is that you, Ronald Kno-"

Just as the butler began to question the identity of the naked man, he disappeared, leaving just his hat behind.

"Who was that?" asked Ciel, who had pulled off his eye patch.

"Um, nobody. Do you know your name?" Sebastian put his deadly cutlery away, hoping that nothing else weird would appear.

"Is it Seal?"

"Ciel."

"That's what I said, Seal."

"Yes but... oh never mind!"

After a few hours, Sebastian had thought Ciel a bit about what was going on. He told him about, the staff working in the manor, Elizabeth, his bride to be and a small bit about his job as the Queen's watchdog. After he had finished telling him about this, there was a visitor.

Sebastian went downstairs quickly to answer the door.

It was Elizabeth.

"CIEELLLLLL!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, running upstairs to his bedroom.

"My lady!" Paula called after her, running to catch up.

Elizabeth pushed Ciel's bedroom door open and jumped onto his bed, hugging the poor boy, who was still sore from his fall the previous night.

"I missed you, Ciel!"

"Um hi... Elizabeth?" he said, feeling unsure.

"Hi!"

She kissed his cheek and said in a loving voice, "I love you!"

Ciel looked at her, dumbfounded. He didn't understand what that meant.

"What is love?"

Elizabeth looked at him like he was from another planet.

"What do you mean, 'what is love?' You know exactly what it is!"

But the truth was, he really didn't have a clue what love was.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

So Elizabeth was giving Ciel shit for not knowing what love is.

"Ciel! I can't believe you! I thought you loved me!"

Then she ran out crying and Paula ran after her, knocking over all of Ciel's things, but Ciel was too busy thinking about this "love" thing to care. Oh, and he was still too stupid to remember that those things were actually his.

Sebastian walked in and face-palmed at the display of stupidity he had just witnessed. He picked up everything that Paula had knocked over really quickly. Like, faster than the speed of light.

You couldn't even see that man pick up that shit.

Ciel looked over at his butler and asked, "What is love, Sebastian? Oh, and who were those two stupid women?"

"Love is an emotion. I'm a demon so I have no idea what it really is, my Lord. And the young lady with the blonde hair is your future wife and the other older one was Pau-"

Sebastian was cut off by Ciel falling to the ground because he didn't know how to walk.

"Young master! Are you all right?!" Sebastian helped him back up and saw that it wasn't really Ciel it was just a really old man who was wearing Ciel's clothes! He got his trusty cutlery ready, and was about to stab the man and kill him when he saw that Ciel had just run out of the room.

Ciel ran down all the halls, but he kept tripping over his own feet. As he ran, he chuckled at his own master plan that tricked Sebastian.

"Stupid butler," he laughed to himself, "Not even the strongest of crows could defeat a train, and you are not the tra-"

Then Ciel realised that his sentence made no sense at all.

-At Undertaker's House Place Thing-

Undertaker was being a creepy asshole as usual, and he was in one of his coffins. He heard the door open and some footsteps.

It was Ciel, but he was in disguise as a woman.

"Hello~!" he called out in his most feminine voice.

Undertaker got out of his coffin and was in shock.

Ciel looked sexy.

But then he remembered that it wasn't actually a woman because he used his super Shinigami powers and was able to see through Ciel's disguise.

"Oh hello there, Ciel~" said the really old Shinigami in his best creepy voice.

Ciel was confused because his disguise was genius and no one should have been able to know who he was.

"Okay look here, old man," began the boy that was wearing a really pretty dress, "I have no idea who you are but I know you have the cure to this disease that I have. Don't ask me how I know. Actually, my demon butler that has nice hair told me, you jealous?"

Undertaker was really jealous on the inside because he wanted nice hair like Sebastian, but he hid his true feelings.

"So what ails you, Cieeelll~~?"

That voice again. Dammit Undertaker.

"I have the Lamperous disease. I think it means I'm really stupid and it makes me out of character but I made up a secret genius master plan so I'm not that stupid."

"Ah~ Yes I have the cure for that. But it's a very dangerous poison, so don't drop it!"

"If it's a dangerous poison, then why would I drink it?"

Undertaker grinned really big. Like, bigger than usual.

"You don't drink it, my dear Ciel. You rub it all over your stomach."

Ciel looked at the man blankly.

"Okay."

So Undertaker got the cure thing and gave the bottle that was in the shape of an elephant to Ciel. The young boy looked at the bottle in amazement because it was really pretty, almost prettier than his dress. But then Undertaker took the bottle away.

"Wait!" He poured some more stuff into it. It looked like rotten bread, but Ciel didn't really care, he just wanted a cure. Just as Undertaker was about to give the bottle back to Ciel, he dropped it.

Dammit Undertaker!

You had one job! One job!

Ciel screamed like a girl because he slipped in the mixture and he thought he had broken his ass. But then he saw that Undertaker wasn't grinning any more.

"Oh no!" was all that came out of his mouth.

Just as he said that there was a really dark cloud and the room became even darker. All the noise from outside stopped for a moment.

Then there was really loud and scary screaming!

All the dead people in Undertaker's place thing house got up and were chasing Ciel!

He ran really fast out the door and then he saw it.

The whole of London was dead. But they were still alive.

The walking dead.

"Shit."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ciel was running really fast because all these dead people were chasing him and he was so scared! And he was really angry too because Undertaker was the reason all this was happening because he dropped the elephant bottle and spilled the poison. Just as Ciel was about to get all pissed off and mutter, "Tch," a really ugly dead woman jumped on him and tried to bite his neck! But he used his sex appeal to get rid of her.

That bitch got nothing on his dress.

So then Ciel was running through the streets of London while trying to dodge really ugly and scary dead people.

"Dammit, Undertaker," he thought to himself, "Why did you have to drop the bottle?! You've destroyed it all!"

Just then there was this really loud noise and red blood was splattered everywhere! Ciel turned around and saw a man who was wearing his aunt's coat and he had hair that was hella red.

It was Grell Sutcliff. And he was looking all not-manly because he's secretly a woman but actually not really, I'm just a filthy liar.

"Oh hello there,little boy~~~"

Ciel looked at him and was all,

"My butler is with me today, you can go away now."

So Grell ran off and tripped over a dead person's soul and he was crying because he's really just a little girl on the inside.

So Ciel was running away again, but he was really confused because he didn't know if Grell was a man or a woman. In fact, he didn't know if he _himself_ was a man or a woman. But then he was pulled out of his thoughts when there was a big light in the sky and all the dead people stopped making weird noises for a second.

Ciel looked up and saw a big angle man who has sexy hair, almost sexier than Sebastian's. He was dressed in white and when you looked really close you could see that he had a really scary face.

"Ciel Phantomhive!" he yelled really loudly as he flew down to the boy and then he slapped him!

It was Ash, the Queen's butler!

"Who the hell are you?!" asked Ciel, because Sebastian didn't tell him about Ash.

"That doesn't matter! You've completely destroyed London and that's supposed to be my job!"

Then Ash transformed into Angela and Ciel was jealous because her dress was hella prettier than his. He was about to run away like the pussy he is but Angela grabbed his shoulder and said, "Ciel, you must fix this! Before I kill you."

So Ciel said that he would fix it and he ran really fast because he wanted to go to a library to find out what love is. And he wanted to get rid of all the dead people because they were scary and ugly and they were getting blood on his dress.

And blood ain't sexy.

So he was running really fast through the crowd of dead people and he saw this horse that had wings so he jumped on it and the horse flew into the sky. While the horse was flying, Ciel's dress flew up and all the dead ugly people saw his panties and most of them were all, "dat ass."

So Ciel was up in the sky, flying on a horse when he sees this huge ass house that looks like the Phantomhive manor so he told the horse to go there so he could sleep.

The horse was all, "I'm sorry I don't speak English."

And then Ciel was all, "But you just did there!"

Then the horse did that weird thing horses do when the like put their front feet in the air and Ciel fell off into the garden and then he realised that it wasn't his house.

He didn't even know where he was.

So Ciel got up and was walking around, and there was this woman with an ugly dress and he laughed at her because it wasn't pretty like his. She looked at him and was all, "omg ciel hi."

Then she walked away.

So upstairs Alois Trancy was begging Claude to be nice to him but he wouldn't because he's an ass like that.

"Please Claude love me."

But then Alois heard Hannah (the girl with the ugly dress) say Ciel's name and he ran like the wind don the stairs and saw Ciel at the front door.

"CIIIIIIIIIEEEELLLLLL~~"

He jumped on the poor boy and crumpled Ciel's sexy dress.

"Who are you?"

"Ciel," Alois looked like he was gonna cry, "You don't remember me?"


	4. Chapter 4

Okay so Sheiru was in Alois gentille Alois-eh's house and he was scared because he had no idea who the hell he was and Alois was dancing like a little girl.

"Alois stop that."

Claude just appeared and looked really pissed but then he started tap dancing and all was forgiven. Alois and Ciel watched him tap dance and they were both really jealous because they would never be able to dance like that.

Then a bird flew in the open window and flew right into Clodo's face.

It was Sebastian!

"Ciel I have come to save you quick grab my rainbow cane!"

"No!"

"But but you ha-"

Then Sebastian just died and Ciel got down on his knees and started crying like a pussy and Alois was laughing and dancing again and he said "Olé!" and accidentally kicked Claude in the face and killed him and he started crying too.

So Hannah came out and looked at everyone crying and Alois stood up and stole Sebastian's rainbow cane.

"Omg Hannah wtf did I tell you about looking at me!1!1!"

Then her poked her other eye with the cane and he eye became a cat. The cat ran off and while it was jumping out the window the entire mansion blew up.

"Nooooooo!" screamed Ciel and everything went in slow motion and he jumped out the window and was like flying and Chariot's of Fire played in the background.

Then he landed on his feet and the ground because for a split second another dimension had been opened while he was flying and he had become half-neko but then he returned to normal. He saw the weird angle man Ash flying in the sky and started running again because he was really scared.

So he was in the forest and there were all dead people there and he was like, shitting himself. There was a shed in the forest and it was painted a wicked hipster pink colour.

"Omg that shed ain't got nothing on my dress!"

But Ceil went into the shed and there was food and water and clothes but he decided to stay in his dress. He went to sleep really quickly despite the noises of people screaming and had really pleasant dreams.

When he woke up there was this emo goth girl beside him with neko ears.

"Oh hi," he said, clearly not amused.

"I'm Mary Sue!" she said really happily.

"Okay."

Then he shot her.

But just as he was about to say, "Tch," she got up and started chasing him! She was one of the walking dead!

He shot her again in the head but she didn't die and he ran out of the shed and into the forest, dodging all the acorns that squirrels were throwing at him.

Then he tripped and fell to the ground and wasn't able to get up! And all the dead people were gathering around him and doing the thriller dance.

Ciel thought he was going to die!

But then he heard a strange voice trying to calm him down.


	5. Chapter 5

Seal turned around and saw who the voice was!

"hi ciel it's me william"

Ciel was all, "omg why are you here I can handle this on my own, jesus."

And then William said, "I'm hear to collect souls and do paper work and other things that have become clichés."

"Okay, well I have to go and stop this disaster, bye."

So Ciel made his way through the woods and back into the city, hoping to find someone who was alive so he could ask them what love was. He was still really stupid and hadn't found a cure for his super duper rare disease.

So he got back into the city and there was shinigamis everywhere collecting souls and doing paper work and Ciel was like "oh shit" because not only were there zombies there were also soul collectors. But then he noticed a man.

A not-dead-not-shinigami-man.

"OMG HI MAN I NEED YOUR HELP ASAP!"

"Okay but it'll cost ya, strange boy with a dress!"

"I'll do anything I just need to know what love is!"

The man looked at Ciel and laughed loudly. He stood up and pointed to a dishevelled looking building with a sign on it.

"~Welcome to the Pillow Palace~"

The man turned around and faced Ciel again and said quietly, "All my employees dead, my business dead, my spirit dead. I need your help. So I will tell you what love is if you will be my employee okay?"

"Okay."

So Ciel started working in the Pillow Palace. He had to wear a uniform but it wasn't sexy like his dress. Not many people came to the Pillow Palace and Ciel had no idea what purpose the place served.

But then after a week of standing there doing nothing a girl walked in.

"Hi!"

"Hi, my name is Ciel Phantomhive and welcome to Pillow Palace."

Then he saw who the girl was! It was Elizabeth!

"Omg elizabeth get out no one likes you!"

"Please ciel I love you so please let me eat at this fine establishment!"

"Oh it's a restaurant?"

But before his girlfriend could answer the whole place blew up! Ciel saw the man who had employed him fly into the sir and burst into flames. He ran as fast as he could to escape the fire and managed to get out before the Pillow Palace was sucked into the ground.

Ciel ran away from the dead people, still not knowing where he was going. He wanted everything to go back to normal but he didn't know how that could happen! Then he remember someone very important to him.

Madame Red!

"I will find you!" he screamed as he dodged dead people and made his way to the graveyard.


	6. Chapter 6

So, seal was running really fast, like faster than sonic and his speed was making all the dead people fall over. He needed to get to madame red before it was too late!

But then all of a sudden he heard a strange voice nad it was really familiar.

"hELLO CIEL!"

It was... undertaker!11!

"hi."

"who are you looking for?" undertaker was laughing again and ciel was getting all scared.

"Madame red"

But then all of a sudden, a huge box fell from the sky and fell on top of undertaker!

"OH MY GODDDD"ciel screamed really loudly as he watched the box open. When it opened, all the zombies camed out and they had no faces! He was really scared so he started running but he tripped and one of the zombies grabbed his leg.

"GET OOOFFFFF!"

Suddenly, a huge chainsaw fell from the sky just like theb ox and it had a red note attached:

"hello ciel I see you are in a predicament so I gave you this saw I think you know what to do it should deal with the zombies goodbye love grell death~"

"okay thank you grell" ciel said to the note before lifting the chainsaw and cutting his foot off so that the zombie wouldn't be holding onto him any more. Then he threw it into the sky again and it exploded.

He stood up and realised he needed a foot to walk and it really hurt because he just sawed his own damn foot off so he grabbed a zombies foot and used his own saliva to glue it to himself. Ciel continued to walk through the graveyard and looked for madame red's grave and he finally found it.

"madame red I need your help ok!"

she said nothing.

She was actually dead

"MMM WHATCHAA SAAYYY!" ciel threw himself to the ground and it started raining and more zombies came out of the ground but he didn't care because he was so sad and all of a sudden his clothes turned black and he grew fangs and turned into a bat and he was a vampire!11!

"omg this is so cool im so gothic and edgy."

"CEIL PHANTOMHIVE GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN!" an odd voice shouted from behind him.

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
